Pink and purple cloudy sky with large text reading 'Kate', the word 'codependency' above it, and 'Gray, LMFT' below in smaller font.

Restoring relationships, one gray area at a time.

NEW CLASS ALERT!

Limited Seats Available!

Limited Seats Available!

Overcoming Your Estranged Inner Parent is a 4-week program designed to help you understand why you feel, react, and relate the way you do—and how to finally shift it.

This series is for anyone who wants to understand their past without getting stuck in it, develop healthier relationships, and learn how to show up as the adult they needed then—and still need now. You’ll leave with clarity, compassion, and a toolkit for lasting emotional change.

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Limited seats available for this class so sign up soon!

Meet Kate Gray, LMFT

Woman with long brown hair in a green sweater speaking into a microphone in an office setting with a whiteboard and framed picture on the wall.

“Codependency Kate” — Codependency Therapist, Relationship Specialist & Creator of the BEND Method™

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  • "Of all the money I spent in therapy to never be taught anything actually useful. Thank you so much for teaching us what to do and giving us real world tools we can understand and use."

  • "This is Kate, also known as the GOAT of therapy"

  • "As an estranged daughter AND a parent, this was extraordinarily helpful. It explains exactly how my estrangement was inevitable based on my parents parenting and understanding my role now as a parent evolves."

  • "This is a gift. Thank you for breaking this down"

  • "Great explanation, you are so helpful and passionate"

  • "BEND has changed my life the last 6 months. I wasn't sure if it was hormone replacement therapy or you .... and I'm gonna say it's you. This has helped me more than anything after a lifetime of therapy"

  • "You are a stellar educator! Thank you so much!"

  • "As a fellow therapist, I just came here to write to you that I so deeply enjoy your videos, and clear love for this work. It really gives me life"

  • "My show is on!"

  • "You are out here doing the lords work with this whiteboard and your message🙌."

  • "You are brilliant! Just explained to me why my marriage and attempt to connect with my ex husband never worked and how I became the villain in the eyes of his mother and sister"

  • "I've appreciated your content for so long now. I love how vulnerable and adaptable youve been and how honest about how this process has been for you. I think you're only improving and you've helped me so much"

  • "You're awesome. And you've broke through information that has never been expressed."

  • "Your BEND method had improved my parenting & validation skills time after time. I've been doing it for 20 years and it's levelled me up so much!"

  • "Thank you for sharing actual tools . We know what the problem is, don't want to dwell in the past. You're actually giving us mom's tools"

  • ""If you acknowledge the fire downstairs the smoke will clear up here" that resonated in my SOUL I'm so happy you came across my fyp"

  • "Thank you so much Kate! Your account has given me so many tools to be a better parent for my kids. I have been going through a grieving process since becoming a mother over the way I was parented."

  • "This is what new moms should be learning, wish I had this 18 years ago"

  • "THIS is the video I've been looking for! I'm going to write this down and put it on my fridge! I love how put this so matter-of-fact and literal. It's such a big help!"

  • "I have not been afraid to criticize your content so I will not hold back on your brilliance. This is very good and very logical. Very useful !!"

  • "I just want to say thank you for these videos-some from September helped me conceptualize things my therapist was helping me thorugh and it all clicked. I talked about your videos with her this morning and she was cheering me on! I am on my way to tackling this in my life and I thank you!"

  • "You're the only parenting teacher I watch!"

  • "The 'to you' mantra in my head helped significantly this week. Also, recognizing the different parts of BEND. Sussing out why my partner was acting a certain way and what emotion he was feeling and why"

  • ""...my partner and I were joking a bit that we should tell each other to "go get bent" (BEND method) when we notice things escalating"

  • "Win: Taught my husband AND my kids the BEND method. Even wrote it on the big ole white board. ;)"

  • "“This is literally the best sh*t I’ve ever seen on social media. Like for real for real. You’re giving concrete steps on what to do when you feel like you’re in a crisis.”

  • "Love this content! Parenting 101 is so needed"

In The News……

Exciting breakthroughs, noteworthy research, and important social sciences advancements.

Parenting strategies are shifting as neuroscience brings the developing brain into clearer focus

Published: August 21, 2025 8:35am EDT

Nancy L. Weaver

Professor of Behavioral Science, Saint Louis University

Kate’s Calendar

“All unwanted behaviors are unmet needs.”
— Kate Gray LMFT

Keep track of Kate’s livestreams, new podcast episodes, speaking events, and classes.

Check the blog.

To The Book List
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Featured
Parenting strategies are shifting as neuroscience brings the developing brain into clearer focus
neuroscience, the conversation, parenting, blog, neurobiology, rewards, punishment, nervous system, discipline, behavioral science, behavior
Parenting strategies are shifting as neuroscience brings the developing brain into clearer focus
neuroscience, the conversation, parenting, blog, neurobiology, rewards, punishment, nervous system, discipline, behavioral science, behavior
neuroscience, the conversation, parenting, blog, neurobiology, rewards, punishment, nervous system, discipline, behavioral science, behavior
Recommended Reading & Resources
blog, resources, books, podcast, show, coaches, social media, al-anon, nar-anon, al anon, nar anon, ACEs, trauma, spirituality, deconstruction, self, marriage, family systems, reparenting, Christian
Recommended Reading & Resources
blog, resources, books, podcast, show, coaches, social media, al-anon, nar-anon, al anon, nar anon, ACEs, trauma, spirituality, deconstruction, self, marriage, family systems, reparenting, Christian
blog, resources, books, podcast, show, coaches, social media, al-anon, nar-anon, al anon, nar anon, ACEs, trauma, spirituality, deconstruction, self, marriage, family systems, reparenting, Christian
Parenting 101: BEND
parenting, detachment, connection, attachment, codependency, enmeshment, BEND, behaviors, needs, emotions, desires
Parenting 101: BEND
parenting, detachment, connection, attachment, codependency, enmeshment, BEND, behaviors, needs, emotions, desires
parenting, detachment, connection, attachment, codependency, enmeshment, BEND, behaviors, needs, emotions, desires

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